Camping
by bratprincess
Summary: Since when does camping include two twin elves and a grumpy ranger?" Elladan, Elrohir and Arathorn (yes, that's right, not Aragorn, Arathorn) feature in this tale. COMPLETE


Dis: no harm intended, no money being made, this is just for fun.  
  
Note: that's my dog, that's her name, that's her behaviour (lil bugger) yes, that's my mum, that's the love for her car and her temper, yes that's me, not having any balance (you'll understand when you read it) right: no romance, nada, just me camping and having a hellish time. It was just me bored, camping and sitting there thinking stupid things to happen. And then I made it into a fic to keep me from going crazy on said camping trip. (well, just the idea, I wrote it now.er.if that makes sense)  
  
----------------- Camping -----------------  
  
I shivered in my sleeping bag, fecking camping, I hate camping. Cold, wet, can't get out of tent without falling and landing face first in dewy morning grass. Stupid tent, stupid county, stupid idea. I sneezed. One minute sun, one minute rain, and now I could see my breath. I looked over to the sleeping bag lying next to me (stupid small tent, maybe I need a new word, stupid is feeling all whore-like, over used). Well, the sleeping bag lying next to me (with my faithful dog lying in the middle, of course) was all warm and snug. I swear I heard her breath a content sigh, glad someone was happy.  
  
I sighed a not-so-content sigh, more of an exasperated one really. Only two more days of this, and then I would be home, back to my computer, back to my bed, back to indoor heating! I closed my eyes and started to count, of course, I became intent on seeing how far I could count, not such a thought killing activity after all. Next came the thought trail, figuring out how I got to think of slipper socks from thinking about my computer ain't all that easy. Somehow my brain stopped thinking and I fell asleep.  
  
*  
  
When I woke up I was cold, I was a lot colder than when I was trying to go to sleep. Infact, I was trembling all over. I looked over to my mother, (the other body, if you hadn't guessed) she wasn't snug in her sleeping bag, she seemed to have noticed it was cold as well. That's when my brain collapsed.  
  
Not in tent, outside, in forest, big tramp looking man standing above mother with a sword. Now, like anyone in that situation (who hadn't seen the VERY pleasant looking twins standing above her with arrows notched and aimed at her, well, one of them anyway, the other seemed not to think either of us a threat. ) My eyes went wide and then the tramp started talking. (Not of course before the fear of God had been put into me, I might add).  
  
"Who are you? What are you doing here?" He demanded, well, at least I think he said something like that, it was a while ago you know!  
  
My mother got that indignant look on her face, then it flashed through other looks, pretty much all confused and displeased with a note of terror under them all. She seemed to be pressing frantically on something in her hand, it took me a minute to figure out what it was. She was trying to set off the car alarm, she seemed not to have noticed the car was gone.  
  
The tramp asked again, this is when I noticed the two males by me, I took a sharp breath. My mother and the tramp (not to mention the two twins standing by me) turned and glared at me, hey! what did I do? My breath was sharply dismissed as the tramp turned to look at my mother. He asked again.  
  
I noticed my dog was still in the middle, fast asleep, what a useless guard dog. She seemed to have one eye open at least, quietly I whispered to her. "Who is that? Go get them." Perfect words to set her off. She jumped right up and growled. Ah wonderful, well, it would have been if one of the twins behind me had not swatted me and hissed "stop it."  
  
He walked to the dog and stroked her, a scratch behind the ear won her. She rolled onto the floor and put her belly forward for rubbing. He scratched it and she grunted happily.  
  
"Useless bloody dog," I muttered.  
  
This, again earned me sharp glances from the twins, the tramp seemed to be focused on my mother. Hmpf.  
  
The tramp went back to his questions. My mother seemed to have regained from the shock of all the strangeness.  
  
"Who are you? What do you want with us? What have you done with our tent?" She paused and looked around, "And the car...why is the car gone?"  
  
The tramp looked at her and frowned, it seemed one of the twins couldn't hold their curiosity, "What is a car?"  
  
My eyes went wide, cars, cars good. No cars. Swords. Smelly. Effeminate (twins, not tramp). Not home, not campsite, not present day. I must have looked pretty shocked because the twin that had been stroking my dog asked if I was well.  
  
I shook my head. He looked from me to the tramp and said, "Perhaps you should lower the sword, they seem harmless."  
  
I nodded my head vigorously and said, "Yes please!"  
  
The twin looked alarmed, "You speak Elvish?!"  
  
"No, you speak English?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Then what were you just speaking?"  
  
"Elvish, but before that Westeron. Why, what are you speaking?"  
  
"English."  
  
There was silence as everyone seemed to be trying to make sense of the riddle. Finally I asked the person I had dubbed the smartest of the three that had found us, the twin who had stroked the dog and not pointed the arrow at me. "Then why can I understand you?"  
  
It was the tramp who answered, rather rashly I might add, "I do not know, neither do I know how you came to be here. As you obviously do not belong here." he lowered his sword and so did the brother who had had the arrow aimed at me. Phew.  
  
*  
  
I snuggled down into my sleeping bag, cold, so very very cold. I didn't really want to look over to my mother, to see how she was handling the situation because I didn't think it would be any better than me. Besides, she loved her car more than life its self. Ok, maybe not more than life itself, but you know what I mean.  
  
With a quick whistle I called Jazz over to me, ah, warmth. She quickly abandoned the twin, she has her priorities right, warm sleeping back with person likely to give tummy rub or person in cold already giving one. I zipped up the sleeping bag and she curled up onto my lap. The 'nice' twin seemed to take some pity on my plight as he offered to light a fire. Now that was nice.  
  
We were sitting close to the fire, I assumed it was finally time for introductions as one twin went, "I am Elrohir." (that was nice twin.)  
  
"And I am Elladan." (not so nice twin, one who had had bow point at me.)  
  
They both motioned towards the tramp, "he is Arathorn, Chieftain of the Dunédain." The tramp grunted in recognition.  
  
My mother took the courtesy to introduce herself and me, because I was indisposed. Elladan, Elrohir, Arathorn, ooo! LotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotRLotR my brain once again overloaded. I was in my element! Better not let on, although a thought did strike me, baby Aragorn! I looked around and whispered quietly to the Nice Twin, "Does Arathorn have a son?"  
  
The twin looked perplexed, he whispered back in the time honoured fashion of one not understanding why something was whispered in the first place, "No, why do you ask?"  
  
"Oh, I just wondered." I turned back towards the fire to see all the others staring at me and the twin. "Just curious."  
  
The elves and man talked with my mother for most of the day. I sat there, shivering, notice none of them offered me one of their blankets, nope, not at all. It was probably on the bright side as I don't think I would have accepted the one from the man and the elves didn't seem likely to share with a mortal like me. Night came and it seemed my mother kept giving me death glares as I sulked (partially about the blankets and partially about the fact that I was in Middle-Earth with Elladan and Elrohir (and Arathorn of course) and I was being ignored by all of them.) Well, night had come and I hadn't left my sleeping bag for most of the day, sufficed to say, suddenly I needed to pee. Now, I'm not all that good with peeing outdoors, I lack an important thing, balance. I almost fall over when I stand, let alone trying to crouch and pee. When we camp I wait till I get near a toilet. What was I going to do?  
  
I whispered over to my mother, "Mum, I need to pee." Now, I have to inform you that besides death glares, I had complained about the meal we had eaten and I kept making what she would later dub as 'funny noises'. I had gotten on her nerves (which were slightly frayed from loss of car and the current predicament.) Back to the tale.  
  
"Well go in the bushes, like I did."  
  
"But I fall over when I try to pee in bushes."  
  
"Don't be so stupid."  
  
"But I can't! Please there must be something else!"  
  
"Well there isn't!"  
  
Well, wasn't she being cold. Although, I must admit now, truthful. The quiet conversation slowly grew into a rather large argument. Ending with:  
  
"OH JUST GO AWAY!" From me, I say ending because when I shouted this, she disappeared. Interesting.  
  
The twins and man both stopped what they were doing and looked at me.  
  
"What did you do?" As the not-so-nice twin, Elladan I think.  
  
"Nothing! She just disappeared!"  
  
"When you said 'Go away' which leads me to believe you're a witch." This was from the man, Arathorn, who else could be so distrusting?  
  
Elrohir turned to the other two, coming to my defence, "She looked as shocked as the rest of us, perhaps she didn't mean it to happen but caused it anyway." He must have been speaking in Elvish, I noticed that when they did that what ever they said was said with a lisp.  
  
I peered out from behind him, thank God for me being so short. "I really didn't."  
  
The other two glared at me and continued with their tasks, not at all bothered by my mother's disappearance, I suppose they were hoping for me to go soon as well. Elrohir went back to what he was doing as well. Maybe if I thanked him he'd be nicer, maybe lend me a blanket or something. Ok, I was being ever so slightly shallow, but it was cold. I looked over to my mother empty sleeping bag and suddenly missed her, darn.  
  
I sat thinking and I wondered that if I talked with a lisp it would sound like Elvish to them. Might as well try it, "Nice-Twin" I said, quickly realising my mistake I amended it, "Elrohir, what language am I speaking?"  
  
"Elvish" grunted Arathorn, spoiling my fun. "Nice trick there, witch."  
  
*mental note: we don't like Arathorn, glad he dies and Aragorn's raised by elves, elves much nicer, hope many elves like Elrohir, although I think he may be unique and he's not that nice anyways* Hmm, sleep time.  
  
I snuggled down in my sleeping bag and found sleep a lot easier this night.  
  
I awoke in the middle of the night, it was cold, but not as cold as the night before, infact I felt something distinctly warn against my back. That's not right, I craned my neck and saw one of the twins lying there, "Elrohir?" I whispered. The elves eyes quickly came into focus.  
  
"No, Elladan, you were cold, now go back to sleep, we've got a long way to travel tomorrow."  
  
"Oh, ok." I turned around and went back to sleep thinking...how strange.  
  
*  
  
I woke up the next morning to find the others working, sorting out packs and such. It was a much brighter day, I remembered what had happened the night before and thought, 'maybe the elves aren't so bad afterall'.  
  
"Come on, we must go, you have slept too long," this from Elladan, ok, I retract any previous comments.  
  
They spent the day walking, rather fast I might add, actually, too fast for me. This led to a day of whining.  
  
"Please can we stop for a break!"  
  
"No, we must reach the settlement before dusk tomorrow, we have already lost a day."  
  
"Do I have to come with you?"  
  
"Yes, we cannot just leave a helpless child out in the wild."  
  
"Oh, but can't two of you go on and one wait with me? I mean, why do you have to be at the settlement by dusk tomorrow?"  
  
"We have a message to deliver." This from Elrohir, (I'd worked it out by now, if someone said something that got glares from Arathorn, it was probably Elrohir.)  
  
Arathorn seemed to be annoyed, hm, I wonder what was wrong. I didn't wonder long because he went to admonish Elrohir, I say went because before he even got the words out Elrohir protested.  
  
"She's just a child, harmless, besides, she doesn't even know what the message is about."  
  
Arathorn huffed and puffed, obviously not pleased with the elf. Y'know, thinking about it now, he looked stressed.  
  
Since they'd realised talking in different languages didn't work, they'd resorted to whispering, rude, I know. So that's what they were doing, whispering, about me. I crossed my fingers, come on one of you stay with me. I caught snippets of the conversation, mostly from Arathorn, the others seemed to whisper quieter.  
  
"complaining.drawing too much attention." "I hope I never have children if they're like that." "I'm not staying!"  
  
Well, glad Aragorn doesn't grow up with that stressed man. They finished talking and all turned to look at me. Come on, lemme go slower. They started to talk.  
  
"It's been decided that since you will slow us and your.whining.draws much attention to us, someone will stay and accompany you."  
  
All my brain could do was go.yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes. "Elladan has.volunteered.for the task."  
  
Oh, not so expected, I'd thought it would be Elrohir, he was much better company. But, you know what they say, when stuck in strange land with nothing, you can't be too picky. Maybe it was beggars can't be choosers.  
  
That didn't matter, it was no more walking fast and besides Elladan had his moments. As the other two set off, me and Elladan settled down for the night (after I insisted I could walk no further).  
  
We had been sitting there for perhaps an hour when Elladan announced it was time to sleep. I curled up in my sleeping bag, still cold. My dog (who fortunately had not returned with my mother) was again lying inside of the sleeping bag with me. Last night they had taken turns in going on watch. How did it work when there was only one of them? I soon found out.  
  
"Look, it is simple, all you have to do is sit and wake me if you see anything. I will be awake in a few hours, all you have to do is keep a look out until then."  
  
I wanted to protest, but it's not like it would be any later than I usually sleep. Besides, I don't think I could stand the rest of my stay here (however long that might have been) if I fell out with Elladan.  
  
So there I was, sitting next to a sleeping Elladan looking around for a sign of anything. The dog was curled up next to him, fast asleep. So cold, so very, very cold. Maybe if I just try and get the dog, I thought, yes, that's it, I'll be much warmer then.  
  
I stepped over carefully to where Elladan was 'resting'. I hesitate to say 'sleeping' because his eyes were wide open (in that elvish way) and he didn't look anything but awake. I tried to call the dog, I tried to pull her, but nothing worked. I finally gave up and sighed and sat down. I looked up and Elladan was glaring at me, oh dear.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
I stuttered before I responded, "I was just trying to get Jazz, I was all cold and stuff." I shivered for effect.  
  
His glare softened slightly (if that's possible), "your watch is nearly over, rest now and here," he handed me his blanket, "have my blanket, it's still warm."  
  
I resisted the urge to sigh, so damn adorable, no, am angry with him, he not nice-twin. I took the blanket and lay down to sleep which again came much quicker than any other night, probably because I was frickin tired.  
  
*  
  
I awoke the next morning and found Jazz gone. Now, why panic? you might think, with Jazz, you'd panic too. Jazz is the kind of dog that doesn't have the most common sense, she's smart and gets a lot of what you say, but she doesn't have common sense. The elves had insisted that it was cruel to keep her on a lead, bloody stupid elves, she wanders off and just.is Jazz!  
  
I looked over to Elladan, he didn't seem to have notice I was awake, ah, he was na elf, in-tune with nature and such, I sure hoped he knew where Jazz was.  
  
"Elladan, have you seen Jazz?"  
  
He peered at me, "I thought she was asleep with you."  
  
"Well, she's not, I told you she should be kept on her lead.but no, smart elves won't listen to me."  
  
So that's how we ended up searching through the woods for Jazz. "Jazz.here Jazz.come on.you lil bugger.why do you have to be here?!" Cue whistling and more shouting.  
  
It had been three hours and I hadn't found her, I finally came back to camp to find Elladan sitting by a newly built fire. I must have looked a state, in the search I had tripped over at least three roots and caught myself on numerous things.  
  
"The dog disappeared." Elladan said, looking at me, taking in my disastrous appearance.  
  
"I know, I thought that too, I mean I couldn't find her anywhere."  
  
"No, you misunderstand me, she was sitting right here, I found her over an hour ago, then suddenly she disappeared."  
  
"Oh, that's strange."  
  
I sat next to the fire and began to think things through. Out of nowhere a figure ran out into the clearing we were seated in. Covered in mud, with a crazy glint in her eye. I looked at her, blinked and pinched myself, there was one part of her that was not covered in mud, it held a name tag. 'Alaina'. "Hey, I know you!"  
  
The figure, Alaina looked taken back and then asked, "Which way did Elrohir go?" I pointed in the direction they had left the day before and she immediately ran off in that direction. "Well, that was stranger."  
  
Elladan finally shook himself out of it, seemingly convincing himself that that hadn't just happened (else I'm sure that he would have admonished me for telling a crazy person which way his brother had gone.)  
  
"Come, we must go, we still have some miles to cover today."  
  
So off we set, he still walked quite fast, I thought I'd try to strike up conversation with him. Then I reconsidered the idea after I realised that there wasn't much that I could talk to him about. The day wore on and I had many more accidents then I had had on my search for Jazz.  
  
Finally I gave into shouting, well, in my head: 'Oh bugger it, I've had enough.'  
  
And then there I was, standing next to a road sign that read, 'Wadebridge 11'.  
  
I guess my walking wasn't over.  
  
Fini 


End file.
